Day 45 - A Hundred Days

So I got my third paycheck yesterday. I have officially obtained 3 out of the 10 paychecks that I need to obtain the Grand Prize. It may seem like I still have a long way to go, but I have already done more than 30% of what I need, which means on my next paycheck, I am halfway done and I have only have to endure the other half of this Minimum Wage misadventure. Basically, I have calculated that I need to work at most 100 more days (but I could always work more for my wants). Every day that I work (the obligatory Wednesday off doesn't count as a workday) is one 1% toward completing my goal.

However, I think I am getting increasingly paranoid, since I've already developed an antagonistic relationship with namely Troll and the Hobgob. Every time one of them talk amongst themselves or the boss or someone else in low voices, especially when they are aware I am around, I keep thinking that they're talking about firing me. I keep thinking that I'm going to get fired at any moment. Even today, when Skipper asked me to "talk to her after I'm done serving the customer", I was actually getting scared and afraid that she'll tell me that I'm fired. Only later did I find out that she only wanted to ask me if I can stay longer today cause it's so busy (I said no). Living in fear of being fired from my job has been almost a universal constant in all my employment experiences, sometimes with good reason, and living in fear is a shitty way to go. But, as work goes by day by day, the fear subsides more and more, because the difference between how much I have saved up and what I need gets smaller and smaller. I feel myself getting bolder and bolder as each day pass.

Anyways, pretty tired right now, can't think straight, so I'm going to hit the sack and get ready for my 8:30 to 2 shift.

Day 39 - Point of No Return Part 2

Remember in my last entry, I said that if Troll and I put aside our egos, we can co-exist together peacefully? I lied.

I am now completely convinced that Troll is mentally unstable. She frequently verbally abuses all the male employees and quite often the Boss himself, whom as previously mentioned is also her husband (I guess she wears the pants in that household). As well, she speaks extremely fast and hard and her voice noticeably quivers like a scared little chicken shit that she is when she is put in a situation where she actually has to interact with a customer instead of verbally abusing her male co-workers. She frequently loses her composure and professionalism (from henceforth shall be referred to as "losing her shit"), as I have personally seen her cry during a lunch rush, having to have the Boss take over. As well, I received second-hand report of she having a separate crying episode from a fellow co-worker (henceforth shall be referred to as "Konvict" should he make an appearance in this blog again).

Again, now that the point of no return has been passed, there's nothing to do but go full speed with it, which is kinda inconvenient, actually, because now if things go too far, instead of spitting at my apron and slamming it at Troll's warty face. I actually have to put up with her mental instability.

I can overstate this enough, because although temporary (minimum until March 4th, maximum until mid-April) and the consequences are not too great (lose 450ish dollars and a crappy job), this is nonetheless a taste of an abysmal alternate reality in which I don't get my priority (aka school) straight and end up having to take up a job like this, only to be completely trapped by it and do this for the rest of my life because of how the low-wages and long hours make it so that I only have enough money to sustain yourself to work the job, and not have money saved up to invest in yourself (i.e. go to school), i.e. an alternate reality which I become the Troll. I shudder at the thought, and remind myself that I need to get my shit straight.

Speaking of getting my shit straight, I decided (a while ago) that it would be best to actually go to school in Ottawa, instead of roughing it "out there". Like it our not, Ottawa has become what I am used to, and roughing it in Toronto or Waterloo or anywhere else other than home is just not conducive to learning. The smartest decision, I think, is just to go to school in Ottawa. The getting my shit straight part happened when I called both Ottawa U and Carleton (the two local schools that offer computer science degrees), and it appears that it is possible for me to be admitted to these schools in September of next year, just in time for the end of my academic suspension. I really hope to get into these two schools, they're both excellent and have co-op programs, but I'm especially hoping Ottawa U will give me a chance, because honestly, that is the only university which I actually feel completely and 100% comfortable with ever since I was like, 11, and I can see myself going. I'm too comfortable and familiar with and there's just too much good memories associated with Ottawa U. Also, it's a good opportunity to improve my French. Anyways, I apparently have to send them my GPA from both York and UW and an appeal letter saying why I was suspended and all that crap, which shouldn't be too hard, since I have experience with this. If I get accepted to Ottawa U, life would be grand.

So the Troll has reduced my hours drastically. My hours used to be approximately 35 hours a week. Now it has settled down to something like 26.5 for the past 2 weeks. At first, I was pissed, because I have no nightshifts now, which means I may never work with Colonel again. As well, my traveling plan is in jeopardy, due to me not getting paid enough in time (or more precisely, instead of reaching my goal on early March, I have to work 2 or 4 more weeks before I can not care about getting fired). However, after some modification to my itinerary, I have made it work out so that I can still quit if I want to on March 4th (sorry Janice, can't visit you in Korea this time). This actually is a good thing now, because I have a lot more free-time to do what I need (which is improving my French and German) and what I want and usually end up doing instead (playing Wii).

Anyways, Survivor: MW continues!

Day 33 - Point of No Return

I meant to write an update sooner because so much has happened, but because of that very fact, I procrastinated, and in the meanwhile, so much more has happened during the procrastination period. Anyways, it's time to keep this blog up to date.

The most important thing that happened was getting my credit card. Finally, I have my own credit card! At the age of 21! Anyways, on the very hour that I am eligible to use my credit card online (24 hours after activation), I went to Farecompare and bought a one-way ticket to Paris from Toronto for 430 Canadian total.

I have reached the point of no return.

No possibility of exile to Quebec; no possibility of outcast to South America. I have to go all in with my first prize now; my round-the-world ambition. There's no looking back, I'm going to have to complete my dream of traveling the around the world, win Survivor: MW, or else risk being stuck in Europe for a few weeks like a loser.

It's becoming reality.

There's several things that prompted this decision.

- This air fare is at least $200 to $300 cheaper than the next cheapest one-way air fare from anywhere in Canada to Western Europe at around that time.

- I have enough money already right now to stay in Europe for a reasonably long time, even if I get fired tomorrow.

- The ticket only costs $430, if I can't go, then I can still go to Quebec/South America for a while, only that I am short $430, which is an unfortunate, but not excessive amount of money or an amount to grieve over.

- Things with Troll and Hobgoblin has gotten a lot better recently, and the chances of me getting fired randomly or getting yelled at has exponentially decreased

As aforementioned, things have gotten a lot better with Troll and Hobgoblin. To be honest, I did change my attitude toward them to get that. One reason was an incident which had the Troll scare the bejesus out of me by pretty much jumping me from behind. What happened was that on that day, when I was at the back doing prepping, and Troll told me to go help the (lone) co-worker at the front, who, from henceforth, shall be referred to in this blog as "That Fucking Stupid Lying Bitch", or SLB for short. So I went over to SLB, and she gave me a task to do (butter the toast, if that matters). Now, there were only 2 customers, which this bitch could easily have handled. I said to SLB, "I can help you, but do remember that I have my own work that needs to be done," and I went on and did what she asked, despite that she was not overwhelmed at all and could've easily have had this handled. When I was done, I asked her if she needs anymore help. She said no, and I went back to work. Five minutes later, Troll came from behind me and started shouting at me, which scared the bejesus out of me cause I didn't know she was there. She yelled "WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING HER????" After I was able to get my heart-rate down to triple-digits again, I managed to tell her "I asked SLB if she still needed my help when I was done, and she told me that she doesn't need my help."

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU KEPT SAYING 'CAN I GO NOW? CAN I GO NOW?'" I said "I did no such thing. I only said 'do you still need my help', and she said no". Troll yelled at me, saying that she doesn't care, and customers comes first. At this point, I was actually in fear for my safety, and I was so fucking scared by this unstable screaming giant scowling woman in front me that I instinctively managed to say "okay, okay. Be nice. Please." Now, I have no objection to serving customers and following orders and all that, and I understand that at work, you have to be professional, but I was under the impression from SLB, who was not pressured or coerced by me at all, that I was not needed at the front anymore. So I went back to the front and said to her "you told me you don't need me anymore." She said to me "no, I never sent you away". I was fucking furious at this lying bitch, I wanted to punch the SLB in the face right there, for lying to get me in trouble where I didn't need any, and for getting the Troll to scare the shit out of me. Thankfully, I was able to restrain myself from escalating this further and helped out until finally, when there were no customers, I went back to her and said "do you still need my help?" "No". I heard that shit before. "Are you SURE?" I responded. "YES," she said in an irritated and icy tone, as if I am the one pulling her away from work and pestering and getting her into trouble.

To be honest, I am a lot more mad at the SLB than the Troll, even though the Troll scared the bejesus out of me. Later that day, Troll cut my shift by two hours, "because there are too many people." I heard that line before when I was fired from the Thai restaurant. The next week's schedule wasn't there as well, even though it was there on the day prior. I got worried, and at the end of my shift, I asked her if she can make available the next week's shift. She didn't answer, and I asked her if it was in the office. She then yelled at me to go home and call later. I backed off and dashed home on my bike in fear for my life and uncertain about my employment status.

Thankfully, I went back later (after having dinner with my parents for my mom's birthday), checked the board, and found my shift for next week. But during that time of uncertainty about my employment status, I definitely thought that today was too close for comfort, and that, despite all the Trolls, Hobgoblins, and SLBs (have you noticed that all the worst co-workers with the horrible egos and attitudes, at least in jobs like this, are female?), I still need this job to accomplish my goal, and yes, win Survivor: MW.

The next day at work, Troll told Boss about the incident, and Boss talked to me about it. After I explained to him what happened, he said that there's no problem, it's only a miscommunication, and told me to just do what Troll tells me to do. I feel that, at least this time, Troll is not completely at fault here. She may be unpleasant, but this time, it was the SLB that fucked me, Troll is only reacting in her ridiculously unstable way.

Anyways, after being scared like that, and being so ridiculously close to being fired, I decided that it's just not worth it to tangle with someone as irrational and unstable as that. You can only appease, not defeat, her. So now, I'm actually nicer, more friendlier, actually used some words like "please" and "can I ..." in my interactions with her. She actually responded by not yelling at me every time now! Once, she actually went out of her way and helped me find a calculator! This is incredible, because before, she would literally ignore me whenever I ask her or tell her something, before yelling at me. I guess once we both set aside our ego for a bit, we can have a truce.

So for now, I am 95% sure that I will actually be going to France next year. Hopefully there won't be some bullshit that comes up and thwart my life-long ambition again. Survivor: MW continues!

Day 22 - Omar Khadr'ed

So 22 days has passed since I started working at Harvey's. Things have pretty much solidified to a point where things are more routine now. I even recognize some of the regulars, like that weird guy that always orders two hot dogs and two fries, every time, or that retarded guy that can't talk properly.

Things that I have observed during these past days of working.

- Customers are fucking annoying for the most part. Most of them want "everything", which takes a long time to garnish and is annoying to do. However, the most annoying are the ones that tells me to give them lettuce, and THEN asks for tomatoes and pickles. What the hell? Why can't they ask for tomatoes and pickles first? Tomatoes and pickles are flat, so they can be put on the stupid patty, which is a flat surface. But if you make me put lettuce first, I have to waste time making sure the damn tomatoes and pickles aren't going to fall off the damn lettuce. I hate it when I ask them what they want on it, and then they go "lettuce" first, then actually wait until I put on the lettuce, and only then will they start saying pickles and tomatoes. So annoying. Combine the "everything" and lettuce-before-tomatoes-and-pickles and you have the ultimate asshole.

- I hate doing the cash, because if I do the cash, I have to spend time near the end of my shift to do the count, and there's potential for some white-knuckle anger. Firstly, if there is a discrepancy from the computer count and my own count, the total is deducted from my paycheck(!!!). And secondly, this task always goes over my shift, so I'm spending unpaid time doing work, and that pisses me off. Unfortunately, I've been put on cash way too much these days, so there's a lot of potential for these assholes stealing from my paycheck and my time. I'm too tired to make this paragraph more angry sounding than I am, but I have the biggest gripe with the fact that this crap is coming out of my paycheck, and almost as big a gripe as my unpaid time.

- Troll is still a troll, and getting along with Hobgoblin is getting progressively difficult, because we both hate each other and know how we feel about each other, at this point. These two monsters are just so fucking obnoxious; I can't wait for my Quit Day.

Speaking of quitting, I did some calculations, and I have worked out that I need approximately 8500 CDN to "win grand prize." This works out to be around 4 more months of work... which is amazing, because that means I can stop acting like I care about the job at the end of February and start acting cocky and finally getting into some two-sided arguments with the Troll and Hobgoblin for once. I thought I had to work until the very end of April, but now it's just the end of February... it's like going from maximum sentence to a reduced sentence ... Omar Khadr'ed if you will.

However, not everything is shitty. There's some interesting people, and night time are much more enjoyable/less stressful than daytime, mostly because Troll and Hobgoblin aren't usually at work at this hour. As well, this is usually the time when Colonel work. However, I am being put into daytime shifts too much. I don't really expect it to change, because of all the part-time students, there's too many people that's available during night shifts, so I can't get anything more than 2 or 3 night shifts per week.

For the moment, my plan is still to work as much as possible, but anything beyond the February is just money for shopping/left over money for school. In fact, I have enough money right now to go somewhere interesting, so I already won the conciliation prize. But, I want to win the grand prize, so Survivor: MW lives on.